In our hyper-connected age, children are asking for a mobile phone at an increasingly young age. And it is normal for parents to ask themselves the big question: at what age should a child get a smartphone?
The answer (otherwise it wouldn't be any fun) is... it depends: there is no set age for a first phone!
So, how do you choose the right time? What can you do to support a child with their first mobile? Let's take a look.
The smartphone: not a trivial tool
Real advantages...
Far be it from us to make the smartphone public enemy number one for children: it is a rich tool that does not lack good points:
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🤓 an educational tool: mobile learning is a new way to access educational content from a mobile device. Increasingly used in middle and high schools for this purpose, the smartphone helps facilitate teaching.
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😀 a reassuring tool for parents: it is the perfect way to reach your child at any time and avoid worrying.
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👥 a tool that facilitates integration and sociability: gone are the days when we sent postcards to friends to share news. It's the 21st century; the smartphone is definitely much faster! And if your child is the only one in their class not to have one, they risk being left out a bit by their friends 😢
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🦁 a perfect tool for mastering screens for the future: it is inevitable, screens are now an integral part of our lives. So it’s better to know how to use them if you don’t want to be completely overwhelmed!
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🧑 a tool to encourage responsibility: for a child, having a mobile phone allows them to gain independence and learn a sense of responsibility.
... but a mobile phone is not without risks!
Despite these advantages, let's be honest: mobile phones also have a dark side:
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🫣 inappropriate content for children at their fingertips: no need to dwell on the dangers of the internet, you already know them! From the moment you give your child a smartphone, you open the door to all kinds of images and information that aren't necessarily suitable for their age. You have to be particularly vigilant here because this inappropriate content can have serious consequences.
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🫤 negative effects on development: overconsumption of screens (and therefore phones) could have serious consequences for the child’s physical, motor, cognitive, social, and emotional development.
The 3-6-9-12 rule
Since phones (and screens in general) are not trivial, it is important to properly support your child in order to prepare them for healthy usage.
To this end, child psychiatrist Serge Tisseron, an expert in the relationship with new technologies, created the 3-6-9-12 rule, which helps guide parents on the right path regarding screen usage.
The goal is to introduce them to screens at the right time and under the right conditions.
📵 No screens before age 3
Pediatricians are unanimous: screens have no positive effect on the psyche of a child before age 3 and may even have negative consequences on their physical, motor, cognitive, social, and emotional development.
🎮 No game consoles and video games before age 6
Between 3 and 6 years old, children develop their imagination and learn to create, especially with their hands. Video games risk monopolizing their attention and hindering their psychomotor development by creating dependency.
❌ No internet before age 9
Until age 9, children are not prepared for the images and information circulating on the internet, which could affect their development. From age 9, it is important that they integrate three essential rules: everything posted there belongs to the public domain, everything there will remain forever, and everything found there is not necessarily true.
💻 Internet alone from age 12, but with caution
Even if the child is comfortable with a computer and the internet, you must establish rules to follow, such as setting browsing hours and using parental controls to limit access to certain sites.
In addition to this rule, you must, of course, monitor the amount of time a child spends in front of a screen each day.
When should you give your child a mobile phone?
First mobile phone: every situation is unique
With the transition to middle school and pressure from friends, children generally start asking their parents for a mobile phone around age 10-11, sometimes even earlier (according to a study by Médiamétrie, children receive their first smartphone at 9 years and 9 months).
But what you need to remember is that there is no “official” age to give your child their first smartphone. Every child is different.
Although it is true that between all the studies that denounce the negative, or even harmful, effects of screens and the manufacturers who tell us that, on the contrary, they are beneficial for our children (by developing their intelligence, making them better adapted to the current world), it’s easy to get lost!
And even more so when we read all the expert opinions giving us a different age for a first mobile phone.
Parents must trust themselves and judge for themselves while keeping one thing in mind: is my child mature enough and ready to have a phone?
Possible alternatives to smartphones
For parents who do not want to buy a smartphone as their child’s first mobile phone, there are other possibilities.
For example, dumb phones have been making a comeback recently.
Basically, they only allow you to make and receive calls and send SMS. Some can take photos, but in any case, it is impossible to access the internet, Instagram, or TikTok. This allows you to contact your child at any time. Bonus: a plan without data is really cheap.
Another alternative: the smartwatch, which, like a basic mobile phone, does not allow you to go on the internet or access all social networks, but does what a phone is ultimately for: making calls and sending messages (while still having access to a few safe applications).
These two options can help secure your child’s entry into the virtual world: the perfect compromise for them to slowly gain independence while parents retain control.
Knowing when to offer a smartphone
To know the right time to give your child a mobile phone, there is only one solution: dialogue. By talking to them, you can estimate if they are ready enough to have one.
Through dialogue, parents must take into account several criteria that will help decide if the time has come for the first mobile phone:
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✅ the child’s maturity and sense of responsibility: obviously, don’t give your child a smartphone if you know in advance that they will spend their days (and nights) playing or hanging out on Instagram! A good indicator to know if they are ready: do they already respect household rules regarding the TV or the console? If the answer is yes, then it is up to the parents to evaluate the situation. If it’s no, explain why and put off the mobile phone until later.
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🧑🏫 educational benefits: since a mobile phone is considered a learning tool, it is up to the parents to judge if their child will know how to make good use of it.
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👫 social considerations: be careful not to give in just because “but all my friends at school have a phone!” Even if a mobile phone greatly facilitates integration and socialization, we repeat, every child is different. Once the smartphone is in their pocket, it is certain that contact with friends outside of school will be easier and more frequent, but all this must happen at the right time.
Supporting your child in smartphone usage
From the moment parents make the choice to provide their children with a mobile, it is essential to respect certain principles, such as:
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📱 limiting time spent on the phone by setting usage time slots
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📵 prioritizing screen-free moments: during meals, sports activities, etc.
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💤 no phone 1 hour before bedtime to avoid sleep disturbances and difficulty falling asleep
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🌙 no phone at night to avoid temptation and exposure to blue light
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🤓 protecting their little eyes from blue light with our collection of glasses for children
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👥 explaining social networks and keeping an eye on them without intruding on their children’s privacy: be careful to find the right balance between respect for privacy and supervision. However, parents must explain how to use social networks properly to avoid any issues: explain what can or cannot be posted, pay attention to profile visibility, and to the people they might "meet" virtually
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❌ implementing parental controls to limit access to certain malicious sites. Parental control is free with all carriers. For those who want absolute control over their child’s phone usage, more advanced options exist, but they are paid (GPS tracking, browsing history, connection time limits, etc.). Dialogue remains the preferred solution for addressing the dangers and pitfalls of the internet.
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💬 dialoguing with your child: communication and awareness are the keys to good usage. Parents must start from a very young age to explain to their child what a phone is and what its usage entails. As they grow up, you must discuss the dangers of the internet and social networks with them and emphasize that they must come and talk to you as soon as they are exposed to shocking or inappropriate content.
For children to respect these rules, it is fundamental that parents apply them themselves as much as possible. How could a child not use their phone in the evening if they see their parents spending their evenings on theirs? Above all, parents must therefore take a step back from their own phones and set an example by putting them down as soon as they can.
And it goes without saying, the older the child gets, the longer the usage time can be, and the looser the limits can become.
Final word: phone starting at what age? Our opinion
To the question, “At what age can my child have a mobile phone?”, there is no real right answer.
Parents must above all judge whether their child is mature enough to use one and whether they will know how to make healthy and reasonable use of it, without falling into the traps of the internet and social networks.
Once the child has one, it is essential that parents set rules to follow and, above all, support them and communicate regularly with them while setting a good example: disconnecting from screens and your phone is a good thing!
